Losing someone you love is never easy, and it becomes even more challenging when you’re helping children process their grief. Last week, my daughters lost their grandfather—a man who meant so much to them and to our entire family. Watching them go through the emotions of loss has been heartbreaking, but it’s also been a reminder of how important it is to support our kids as they navigate grief.
Here’s what I’ve learned so far and how we’re working through this as a family.
It’s important to create a safe space for kids to express their emotions, whether it’s sadness, confusion, or even anger. When my daughters first learned about their grandfather’s passing, we let them cry, ask questions, and talk openly about how they felt. Sometimes, kids don’t have the words to describe what they’re feeling, so I’ve been reminding them that all emotions are valid.
When discussing loss, honesty is key. However, how you explain it should depend on your child’s age and understanding. For my daughters, I kept the explanation simple and clear: “Pop pop has passed away, which means we won’t see him anymore, but we can always remember the love he gave us.”
One of the ways we’ve been processing grief is by celebrating their pop pop's life. We’ve looked at old photos and shared funny memories. These remind my daughters that while Pop pop isn’t physically here, his love and legacy remain.
Grief can make life feel unpredictable, and children find comfort in routine. We’ve been focusing on maintaining our daily schedules—schoolwork, playtime, and even bedtime rituals—to provide a sense of stability.
As a parent, it’s okay to show your emotions in front of your kids. Letting them see me cry has taught my daughters that it’s okay to feel sad and that grieving is a natural part of losing someone you love. At the same time, I’m intentional about showing them healthy ways to cope, like talking to loved ones, journaling, or taking quiet moments to reflect.
Sometimes, grief feels too big to handle alone. Whether it’s leaning on family, friends, or even professional counseling, it’s okay to seek help. I’ve let my daughters know that they can always come to me, but I’ve also reminded them that there are others they can talk to if they need to.
Grief is a journey, and for children, it’s often a new and overwhelming experience. As parents, we can’t take away their pain, but we can walk alongside them, offering love, patience, and understanding every step of the way.
To anyone reading this who may be helping a child navigate grief, know that you’re not alone. It’s okay to take it one day at a time—and to let yourself grieve, too.
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Amber Bowie
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